PTSD

     If you know of someone who's been incarcerated for any length of time, then chances are, when (s)he gets out, they're going to be suffering from something known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, and why wouldn't they? Prisons are war zones, especially right now. You don't know who you can trust, people are often stabbed or shot right next to you, and you've got to watch your back every second of the day. The stress eats away at you, and the fact that, as men, we're looked at as being weak for showing emotion (especially in here), only makes things worse. So, when your loved one gets out, there are some important things for you to remember.

     First, it doesn't matter how much you want to help, we're going to find it difficult to talk about the things which truly traumatized us. We'll talk about the guy who got beat down and laugh as we do, we'll even talk about a guy who came into the system like he was the toughest thing to ever hit the prison yard, only to become the littlest guy's bitch, and we'll joke about it the entire time, but we're not psychos, we're just fronting. Doing so makes it possible to  avoid dealing with the overwhelming traumas associated with doing time. The deaths, the beatdowns, the humiliation inflicted upon us by the guards, things only someone who experienced it would understand, and they understand enough to know that we don't want to talk about it.

     Second, at times we're going to get moody, irritable for no reason whatsoever. We're going to snap at you, even try to provoke an argument for no reason whatsoever. Don't take it personal. Just remember that we just went through Hell and give us some space. Don't argue with us, not because you're wrong, but because we just need some time, so give it to us. Make an excuse, offer a soft apology and leave, not because you're afraid of us, but because these are the situations in which a soft answer can douse whatever fuse is burning within.

     You're going to see us doing some really strange things as we strive to adjust. When we let you know we're going to the bathroom, it might come across as more of a request than a statement of fact. When we eat out, we're going to want to sit with our backs in the corner. This is normal, just accept it at face value, but if you're really curious, ask us about it. It might be just the opening we need to talk about what's bothering us.

     Something you might want to consider.is not approaching us from behind, or if you do, make sure we aren't surprised.at your sudden presence. I'd suggest humming a happy tune as you approach. It really does make a difference.

     There are dozens of signs that we're suffering from PTSD. Our parole officer isn't going to care, and we won't notice. You might, or you might suspect. In either case, don't be afraid to seek out a professional opinion, above all, though, don't give up on us. We don't want to come back anymore than you want to see us come back, but.the only way we're going to stay out of here is if you stand by our side.

@F0Q_CDCR